What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
