So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You were trust falling into bushes
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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