Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
