you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
