why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
