Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
