I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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