His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
