Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
