just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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