I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
