Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize