i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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