He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize