dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
