His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
