I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
