I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
