Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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