you have to choose: penises or morals?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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