do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
