would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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