That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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