My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
