I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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