we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
As shirtless as possible
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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