she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
