I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
