It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
