just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
