Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
