I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
