my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
bring money and cleavage
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
