I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
