do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
