Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He better not be in your backpack
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
