So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
