High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
