I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
