Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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