he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
