He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
