my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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