on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
