sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
