Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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