I think i peed on brittanys purse
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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