Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
