Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
