haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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