I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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