So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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