is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
