All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
