Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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