What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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