I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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