so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
