It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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