god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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