Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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