I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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