Plan B is the new Plan A
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
